Monday, October 25, 2010

Finding 'Me'

This is an interesting topic for me.  The question "Who am I?" came to me a long time ago and it was easy to answer, I'm a mother.  When you have 3 kids (2 kids, 1 kid, 2500 kids whatever), it's easy to feel that being a mother is ALL you do, it's all you ARE. At least that's how I saw myself, and I'm pretty sure many others are seeing the same thing. So when you have never been single, when you have never been able to make a single decision based solely on what is best for YOU and ONLY you, how do you know who YOU are?  hard question to answer especially if you have no idea, it's pretty hard to see yourself as anything else. 

So what did I do? I got myself an iPod and I downloaded some music, I found my favourite CD's that I had not listened to in years and I played them all over and over, and I started dancing, I would turn all the lights off and ban my husband from entering the room and I danced.  Sometime I would go outside and dance under the moon.  I had not danced free like that since I was a child, and I always felt silly even then. I Danced and I sung and I listened. I discovered I had some favourite bands.  Like What? I had FAVOURITE bands?? how did that happen? but I did. and the more I did this the more confident I got in other things. Something as simple as choosing my own music and dancing by myself made me find myself as someone other than the mother I was.  It was something I could do that in no way effected my children negatively, it didn't effect them if once they were in bed mummy spent an hour dancing. 

From the music and dancing I have discovered a want to do other things I think I will enjoy, I want to learn to play the guitar and go to concerts to hear my favourite band/singer play.  I have so much more to learn about myself, there is so much more to 'Me' than I am close to knowing.

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